Gratitude

Oh my giddy aunt, every time I say that I'm about to start posting again LIFE gets in the way.  Busy life, empty blog.  Unfortunately a lot of what kept us busy was loved ones with terrible ill health and then the passing away of my Mother in Law.  It was horrible and all the bad sorts of words you can throw at such sadness and what feels like injustice.  It was awful that family didn’t gather round and it was yet another point of stress.  It was hurtful when people didn’t act the way I'm sure I’d treat them in that situation. 

 

However, we saw that was the reason we were taken back from Singapore in the grand scheme of things.  I felt happy knowing that The Husband wasn’t having to deal with this with an 8 hour time difference.  I felt comfort knowing that he didn’t have to organise flights and as unpleasant as it all was driving up, it wasn’t a day of no contact and worry for him to deal with.  Most of all I felt overwhelming gratitude that the family that didn’t turn their backs were right there holding hands, turning up to things, welcoming us into their homes, offering help and just being all round good people.  It was a bad situation, it just was, however we were shown such love and compassion that it didn’t feel unbearable.  And when you wake up to the phone ringing in the middle of the night you have to take any comfort you can.

However, good times are undoubtedly ahead.  We have had some great news too.  TH’s health problems seem to have been a massive over reaction by the Singapore health system – it is amazing, but any would be that you pay for.  He’s been given the OK by our wonderful NHS after lots and lots and lots of tests and we feel really happy and confident that everything that can be done has been, and will continue to do so.

We’ve also just taken a major step into being grown ups….yup, we put an offer in on a house and it got accepted!  We’ve already done the home report and it came back right on the money!  It needs work, but its all things we already could see and we feel really, really happy.

So I think that’s us up to date for at least a little while. Well lets see how long between posts I leave it now?!!!

Man Drawer

With The Husband away at the moment I’ve taken the opportunity to pull everything out and start to get it organised. We have three bedrooms, a study, a dining room, living room and a kitchen as well as the two bathrooms in our house. When we moved from our sea side cottage it was deepest mid-winter and the heating was broken. We had very little time to pack up and make the new house habitable so we threw all of the things that weren’t immediately needed into one of the bedrooms and closed the door…fast forward ten or so months and we are now in a predicament.

Last night I started to pull boxes out of this room and can now see part of the floor in it. A lot of the things pulled out went into other rooms like shoes that I thought had been lost or the bag full of tubes of toothpaste (why did I do this?). I’ve filled a wheelie bin full of rubbish as well as boxes I’ve put into the garage for TH to take to the skip. I’ve also made up a box of electrical wires and switches that TH can sort out for himself, as he has several MAN DRAWERS full of rubbish!

Two different moving companies are coming on Friday to give quotes so we want them to be able to see everything and I also want to ensure that everything is in its right place before they start to put things in boxes. I have a fear that something’s going to be kept in storage in the UK when I really need it in Singapore, but all I can do is plan.

I’d love to say that I was sitting and reading or hanging out in the last rays of sunshine. I have been having long walks with Daisy Dog, but that’s only so I can attempt to get healthier before I head off into all that heat. I hope your September is more relaxed!

x

Tea Perhaps?

I've had some very good luck recently.  While working through our laundry pile I found some old unused, long forgotten vouchers for our favourite hotel in Aberdeen.

We went there for Valentines weekend last year and had so much fun.

We hung out in the drawing room reading papers and drinking tea.  We walked around the grounds, came back again and sat down to drink yet more tea.

We sat in the lounge and spoke to the First Minister (only for a short while mind).

We spent so much time just chatting to each other.

We ate nice meals and rested...away from any stress...

and when we came home we felt better and planned for our next trip, we told everyone how much fun we had and that Christmas we got some vouchers to go back....that is until they got lost in the move...

UNTIL NOW....!

Some tea and cake perhaps?

Getting There

The ISA was opened earlier this month and it felt so good putting money away into it and knowing that this is the start of really taking control of things. Not only have we been blessed with great weather recently, it feels like things are finally all falling into place. Although I love Autumn and Winter I love it when we get a bout of sunshine that really cheers everyone up. Eating supper outside is such a simple pleasure, but such a treat. We’ve had great news too and are waiting for our first appointment at the fertility clinic. There are so few in the country that I can’t help but be grateful for the chance to attend one so easily. I know some people have to travel from the Highlands and Islands just to attend, so I really shouldn’t complain about my lot in life. I’m so happy that we are getting to visit this amazing establishment and are getting closer to real help. The help might be medical or counselling or anything they see fit, but I am so happy that we can now get over all of the confusion and sadness. I can celebrate that these things were never in my hands in the first place. There is a plan, and if there’s another person on earth to help show me what I can and can’t achieve then I can accept it and get on.

I guess there was a point when we really thought about babies or thought about money and saving and all it brought was unhappiness. We’re not supposed to overthink these things, most of what we worry about isn’t anything we can control. The money thing I could deal with, for too long I’d blamed others, but as soon as I copied my Mother and got myself a little note book it made sense. The baby thing was so far from being in my control that no wonder I drove myself crazy trying to ‘fix’ it. It seems like the moment I noticed that although I loved my job in a library, I couldn’t be with people who were so rude, nasty and deceitful to each other. I remember when I left and I spoke with my new colleagues, I was shocked that they weren’t horrible to me. The fog cleared and I could see that it was a good thing I got out of there. I could see no amount of money or job prospects mattered if I was deeply unhappy.

I feel like we’re slowly getting to where we should be. Not getting somewhere in a monetary or benchmark sense, but where we should be IN OURSELVES. Where TH and I were meant to be with regard to being calm, happy and settled. Not striving for more, just doing what people have always done and I am so thankful that we have that chance. We might get some treatments and they might be difficult, but we sure aren’t sitting hunched over trying to figure it out between us. I am so grateful that on Tuesday it’ll be us, waiting in a queue…and you know what? It might be the start of something really, really good.

Shake yourself off

TH and I have been through the mill recently. We’ve been bashed about a bit and retreated for a little while into the comfort of our own home. For a little while we stayed hiding, we sat in front of the TV on the comfy sofa wrapped in blankets. We were not in the slightest vulnerable as we didn’t stray outside the front door. When the weekend came the drawbridge went up.

This happened for a couple of weeks, Friday night would come and we wouldn’t venture outside. However two weekends ago we were forced from our home as TH needed to attend an opticians appointment. The sun was shining, but we didn’t really want to go, the birds were chirping and tweeting and yet I didn’t skip outside of the front door the way I normally would. The drive into Inverurie town went smoothly and we found a parking space quickly. The town was setting up for a farmers market and everyone was smiley and welcoming. Daisy Dog and I walked through the town centre looking in shop windows and wandering up alleys to find new little parks, ponds and pretty green spaces.

By this time I was quite content and forgot my worries. The breeze was warm and I had a belly full of ‘tasters’ from the market stalls. The weight on my shoulder lessened and I was really quite content. Daisy Dog and I walked back through the town in time to meet TH and we then all walked around the stalls together. We got some dog treats for Daisy and some bread for ourselves. I picked up some cookies to have with a cup of tea later and TH had a good look at some cider, but decided against it.

That weekend wasn’t about just having fun or spending money. It gave us the strength to head out again. We are now going to take advantage of the good weather and spring Fayre's all around us and head out again this weekend. There’s a farm open day out west and it promises to be lots of fun!

A little of what you need

Saturday was one of those perfect days.  Not because it is actually perfect, but because you feel it is perfect deep, deep down inside.  It was one of those days that the sun was shining, we actually got out of the house and everything seemed to be going well-I needed a day like that.  You couldn’t ever put your finger on it, you knew that it wasn’t just because there was a farmers market in town.  I knew I didn’t feel that way because I got to go on a big walk with Daisy Dog. It wasn’t just because we made a fuss and had a yummy tea.  It wasn’t just down to the fact we added to the wood pile.  It was exactly what we needed, and that alone had the power to heal.

I hope you had a great weekend, we're in the middle of the week now, not long to go until the next one!

All work and no play.....

Its grey, dark and gloomy outside, but I’m off again tomorrow so it can’t bother me. TH is very ill with the flu (its not even pretend this time!) so I have been getting lifts into work, which has been a godsend. Unfortunately (or possibly luckily) this means I get into work at 6.30 and don’t arrive home for another 12 hours. I have quickly ‘banked’ enough hours for a day off, and I think I’d really rather take it while TH is poorly and needs a bit of looking after, rather than saving it for later.


It means I can catch up on a Mothers Day make and get the house nice and tidy as it’s obviously really slipped with poor TH being in bed all night and day. I hate it when the house doesn’t look welcoming or cosy. I would never ever want to be the sort of person that couldn’t have people round because the house isn’t nice. It has to be either tidy ‘enough’ with good friends and too much tea and cake so they don’t notice or just pile it all in another room if the only options are mess or friends. I am house proud to the extent that things are clean, but I don’t spend all day scrubbing. I would rather spend my time re-arranging some flowers or organising a book shelf. Sometimes I can spend ages organising guest soaps in a room and utterly overlook bed linen needing to be put back on a stripped bed. So tomorrow I will take care of The Husband, I will have time to make the cookies for my Mum and decorate the little lavender sachets for Mothers Day, I will get the house back into order and I will do this all in my own time. Never has a prospect been more exciting.

Everywhere I Look Around

The Husbands Birthday is very soon and I can't help but plan and organise it along with all of my Easter ideas.

Spring has sprung and I couldn't be more egg-cited...ok cheesey, but I told you I couldn't contain it!

Birthdays Are Coming

Birthdays are the most wonderful sorts of days, only surpassed by Christmas Eves in which everybody joins in the excitement. When I was little Birthdays meant wearing a badge on your blazer to school proclaiming your new age. Birthdays were for friends for tea and a party at the weekend in the village hall. They were, quite literally, for jelly and ice cream and musical statues. I hear from friends with little ones about extravagant events and if that’s the way its going, I’m sure my nephews would think I lived in utter poverty with just a game of pass the parcel and party songs which were solely meant for twirling to.


It is TH’s Birthday soon and this year it falls during the Easter weekend. We are having about ten people over and I’d love to do a really pretty theme. I hope to have the house covered in pastel colours and hopefully it will be a nice weekend as we plan to have a BBQ. The kids can be entertained with an egg hunt, and the grown ups entertained by some pretty drinks! I’ve got these cute little glasses and some of those paper straws I’ve seen everywhere. I also bought some Happy Birthday bunting and I think you get really sweet paper plates etc. now so I will get those too. Hmmm, I just need to get a present, eek!

Ferris Bueller Has Nothing On Me

Days off mid week are utterly delicious. They are like stolen gems of time and are enormously more fun than a week-end. Those are simply days off for working all week. These are the days spent chasing those chores that slipped away when you came home too tired. Week days spent lounging are like a month of Sundays-rare, but even the thought of them make your toes wriggle with delight.


Tomorrow is one such day. Tomorrow is for hanging washing on the line outside, a big pot of tea and the papers. It is for a big breakfast and for a jaunt into town. It is for a look around the delis and charity shops. It is for tea and cake where ever we wish to visit. For garden centres and gardening. Tomorrow will be good.

All at Once

This is really partly a post I was going to do on Shrove Tuesday which this year seemed to come on really early in the year for me. I have had Valentines Days in snowy settings, but I normally just want Easter time to be so full of buds in bloom and all manner of exciting and Spring like things. I was looking in some shops through the week and saw beautiful Easter bunting and decorations for Easter trees and cakes, but I couldn’t get my head into pale palettes and soft pastel colours.


Now that I am thoroughly off track I will try to get back on by saying that Pancake Day was accompanied by the usual tummy ache from eating all day long. Warm pancakes, bacon and maple syrup for breakfast were followed by cold pancakes and jam for lunch. After Dinner we got the bowl and whisk out again for some more and I was able to really getting into flipping them!

Wednesday wasn’t any less eventful and I got sent home ridiculously early due to the bad snow. It was such a scary journey what with the gales coming through the Glens of Foundland, from the fields all around us and it swirling about the car anyway. We got through two road closures and even had a police escort to the front door-just so they knew we weren’t trying to break open the closed snow gates. We were so grateful that when the wind calmed down a bit we got all of the hill walking gear we own, through it over us, and headed out to give the Police at the road diversion some coffee. Daisy Dog was so unimpressed on the way back that she simply sat down, her poor fur had gotten all matted with the snow so that she really couldn’t take a step further!

And so here we are on Valentines Day! I don’t have lots of pictures of flowers and cards and chocolates and tickets for trips away…just a little blog post! TH and I will be having tea at home and while I know that he has got me a lovely card I am giving him a postcard of a lovely picture at our local art gallery. I also found a beautiful mug with a picture of the chapel we got married in on it, which has been done by a local artist and was for sale in the gallery shop too.

I hope you all have a fantastic day!

Edinburgh

I love Edinburgh, I always have and I can't imagine ever finding it boring.  We went out when it was cool and crisp and very, very peaceful.  I wouldn't want to take little Daisy Dog out when there were lots of people, so had planned the trip around lots of lanes and parks...

We walked up and down lanes....

Daisy and I walked along Princes Street Gardens...until her legs could carry her no more...

so we hopped on a bus! 

Please re-direct mail to here, I love it!

Always a Good Time

Will be posting shortly on an amazing trip to Edinburgh with TH!  Just getting some pics together...went a little 'snap happy'.

Chance of a Get-Away

When the adverts for Summer holidays start being shown on TV all that I want to do is get organized. This year we are hopefully going away with another family, so I can’t be the only person in charge of this like I normally am and love being. This means that not everything is in my hands and I can’t start envisaging a nice break.

So when TH got offered the chance to have a couple of meetings in Exeter and one in Edinburgh I jumped at the chance to head off with him. It means I get to investigate a new place with Daisy Dog and have lunch and shop in a new area.

TH had to organise the venue and let me tell you it was not all a bed of roses. Once we got started it became a doddle, but I had started off by trying to ‘google’ them and I was going insane with it! He will have a meeting room, we will have a nice dog friendly hotel as central as can be-so that I don’t get lost!

Its not a mini-break but its my chance at a break from work. I find that as soon as I get a day off normally I manage to fill it with boring house-hold chores. This way I will be forced to get out and about.
I can’t wait to take some pics of Daisy and I roaming around a new location!

London...again

The Husband and I are looking at booking a little mini break for October. The plan is that, seeing as its our five year anniversary, we will actually DO something to celebrate. I went to London when I was 21 and loved every minute of it. The city is so beautiful and being a history lover there was plenty for me to do. I still look back at the pictures I took of lamp-posts and buses as the whole place was so exciting for me. (Now that I am…..erm….older, and most certainly wiser, I’m sure I won’t do such a silly thing this time round!)


I fell in love with London before I visited, I fell in love again for the Royal wedding, again for the Olympics, and for all the beautiful things I’ve read and looked at in between. Just because these particular events are over, there is hardly a shortage of events in London. The city encapsulates every buzzword you can think of. I would love to go at Christmas, Spring or Summer, however I will be going this year in October.

Because October isn’t quite the time for a Christmas buzz there isn’t anything that instantly springs to mind to visit, however that’s where my crazy planning streak comes into its own!

I would love for us to head off to London to make it like our little ‘event’, it will be our ‘thing’ where we make a fuss of ourselves (seeing as we work pretty darn hard the rest of the year). I’m already looking at restaurants and bars which will be conveniently located around the city. I love the idea of just popping into cosy bar with a little nook or sashaying into a chic room with high ceilings that is light and airy.

So for now I am looking online, I am compiling my lists and after showing all of this to TH I will then head off and do my own things anyway! I can’t wait to start sharing my plans with you.

New Year

Happy New Year everyone, I hope that Santa was good to you and that you had a wonderful Hogmanay. Last year was such a funny sort of year. Summer was a wash-out and my Christmas celebrations began on the 22nd when we finally got our heating in.

Part of the lack of blogging was that I was very busy with boring things nobody would blog about-unless I was particularly angry and I would then drag you all into my rant, and part of it was such an awful lot of disappointment. I found it when trying to build bridges with people, when TH and I were both trying to find time together when there were so many things pulling us every which way. I found it when looking for jobs or even planning things to do on a rainy summer day. I felt it when I believed that I should or should not be doing a certain thing at a certain time of the year.

I think it would be all too easy to set up very high expectations and fall so terribly short with them, goodness knows I’ve done it more times than I care to remember. Last year I hoped that I would DO something each and every weekend. I feel that we certainly did for the first little while, but I did have many a very lazy unproductive weekend too. I was inspired by The Wonderful Weekend Book, which is my favourite sort of book, to not be so awfully boring and be able to make my way back to work on a Monday morning and proclaim that I knew exactly where my weekend went.

This year I would like to work on the very same thing. This might take the form of getting back into baking, or celebrating the seasons more or maybe even getting out in the rain in the height of summer and doing something or other. I may end up taking a class like TH who I am immensely proud of for following his dreams. I may even join a club at our local community centre-seeing as it is just over the fence!

What all of this boils down to is celebrating what you have in life. Not what you wish you had, like more time, people of a certain nature around you or warm weather. Not only because, I work full time, can’t change other people and live in the North East of Scotland. It boils down to not wishing your life away. It boils down to recognising I am busy with a full time job that I wanted and my heart burst with pride when they said they thought I were the perfect candidate. It boils down to being grateful, and I would be truly ashamed if I was not that.

Get the Crayons Out!

With the Boots Christmas catalogue out in plane view I know that Christmas will be upon us in no time.  Even when I was a teenager it was THE thing that made me sit up straight and get my colouring pens out.  Not so I could circle everything in it that I did want, but to circle the type of things I was really quite into-actually I still do that.  I love surprises, but I have to be honest and say that not many men would know exactly what a girl wants.  The Husband is quite grateful for the guidance, and I still get to squeeze the parcels under the tree.

November is…

November is for hot pots and slow cookers, it is for roasts after long walks and good warm filling soups. November is for looking out of the window and seeing harsh frost and rain.

November is for Remembrance Day, Guy Fawkes Night, and when I will stir up the Christmas cake. For me it is also when the girls in the family are heading to Edinburgh for some Christmas shopping.

November is for wearing two coats and scarves, big hats and boots for stomping around the countryside to tire the dog and stay warm. It is for jumpers. Jumpers of cable knit and snug soft materials. It is for finding sparkle for parties. Glittering and sequined garments which will shimmer and dazzle in the fairy lights.

November is for being surrounded by books, cushions and mugs of hot cocoa.

 It is for visits to the library and books bags overflowing with recently requested items full of ideas for Christmas bakes and makes.

November is for throws and eiderdowns, porridge for breakfast and travel mugs for the long journey to work. 

November is for long nights spent watching period dramas, for playing scrabble and finding Christmas movies at the weekend with warm fresh popcorn.  November is for squirreling away presents and hiding them in a new location each and every weekend.

Our Anniversary

It seems odd to think that we’ve been married for four years, but seeing as today is our anniversary I can’t really deny it. If I’d been asked I think I’d still have to count it up on my fingers.


“Year one, now I remember, we went to the Christening of my Bridesmaids second child,” I’d say. Although if asked at the time it would be a little more like this…”hic, why has she got a baby? Sob, sob, hic, why does she get TWO and I get none?”

I would then hold up another finger to count… “Ah, wedding anniversary two, the year we were supposed to go away,” I’d remember poignantly. However it really wouldn’t have sounded like that in the slightest, it really should be more like “He tells me we’re going away. He then gets voted into the club to take a senior role and he’s leaving me this one night a week. I mean how RUDE is he? Sure we can do anything any other night, and sure I’m really, really bogged down with the flu anyway, but he should be HERE, even though I’m sleeping. I know its TH’s only chance….but what about MEEEE?”

By this point I’d be pretty sure that yes, indeed, it had been four years, but I’d be getting into my stride by this point and count loudly “Oh yes, our third anniversary, poor TH was so upset when he found out he’d have to work away. But you know, when you’re married you really are grateful for the lovely time you have together and don’t think of it one bit!” Ahem…but you know me by now, you know I really thought “What? I repeat WHAT THE HECK?!! You’re going to Australia for two weeks? Two weeks? When? ON OUR ANNIVERSARY?”

So here we are at year four, and I will tell you exactly what’s going down in our house. “Do you want to go away? Head to Inverness or Edinburgh for a long weekend?” TH asks thoughtfully.

“Erm, no, not really. It sounds nice and all, but we live in a little cottage by the sea, I mean, we have pretty spectacular views any day of the week. How about we spend the weekend walking around Haddo House, going for high tea and having our supper in the pub?” I reply

“Sounds like a plan to me!” And whilst TH says this it is exactly what goes through my head too.

Have a great weekend!

My October

October is wonderful and if put into list form in my head (which I invariably do) you’d find it above March, which is The Husbands Birthday month and May, which is my own. You’d find it above all months and it would reign supreme, even above February which has Valentines Day, because October is the loveliest of months being the anniversary of our wedding day.

In October 2008 we wed on a particularly windy day. Bells were rung and toasts made and four years down the line we still love the look and feel of Autumn and are very glad that we made our wedding day right in the middle of it.

This October is different from the last as 2011 was full of trips away for TH, searches for a new job and a bit of uncertainty. The whole family has made similar comments at differing times after contemplation and we have all mentioned how last year we weren’t very festive. We didn’t do anything for Halloween, Bonfire Night, St Andrews Day or much in the run up to Christmas. This year is and will be very different and we have truly been blessed so far. Even with renewed energy to overcome anything in the future if things get hectic again.

This October we all feel like we are seeing things for the first time. We are having a small Halloween get together with some friends, and a joint Bonfire and Birthday Party at the beginning of next month. I have looked out the half finished Christmas projects of last year and I’m planning to use these to get ahead with some pretty home made decorations. (Although we may be moving we can still tinsel up the boxes!)

This October is wonderful because we have already been taking full advantage of the weather staying so calm for so long with very little exception. The nights get dark but TH and I are keen to head out directly after work to kick leaves and collect conkers not nibbled by squirrels.

The dark nights make me want to root around to the back of the cupboard for the slow cooker, I want roasts, I want crumble, I want s’mores!

So that’s our October, the very little plans that I have put here, but you know what? I'm so at peace. I believe that I have had time to rest, recuperate and start a fresh.