This Ambition of Mine

Aberdeen is built on some hills, and although I’m not at the top of a hill there is a wee bit of a dip down at the bottom of my road which then climbs up quite high above sea level. This gives me a perfect view when I go over the photocopier and peak out of the corner window. I can see all the way down the hill, past all the big fancy houses and over to a really pretty park then out to sea.

I therefore do an awful lot of the scanning, or ‘oh I’m just waiting for my print’, or really quite a general wonder around the office looking as if I’m on my way to something important, but really out for a walk. When I was younger I never wanted to work in an office, I wanted to be free. I wanted to spend all my hours doing a fun and exciting job, out and about in any weather. Now as I’ve got older I realise I just want to do my own thing, but then there’s money. So because I need money I’d much prefer to do any sort of job that pays me fine enough, keeps me warm and dry, lets me walk in some days at 10 and lets me leave some days at 4. I like the people I’m with, and when its home time that’s when I do the fun or fulfilling stuff. Maybe one day I’ll work the two in together, but for now this is working.

My friends friend is graduating in December and saying she’ll take a year off to find herself. Her Mum has bought her a house and she says she’ll never be found in an office, (God forbid), she is going to DO something with her life…. Well, good luck to her! I can certainly say that I am not jealous of that. When I left Uni it was the worst experience ever. Firstly you have to pay council tax, then just as you earn more you find out there is a threshold for you paying tax-you just never reached it before now. You instantly find all your friends dispersed across the country, you don’t have parties and clubs to visit and the goal you had since you announced you were going to University in your Primary 7 project ‘what I want to do when I’m bigger’ is suddenly gone!

Nope, I would rather be good old boring me. I would much rather let my mind go blank and enjoy the view from the train journey in the morning. I would much rather happily sit and get my work done, but be able to put it aside at the end of the day, or even at lunch time to go and do my own thing. I am more than happy that I will not be contacted at the weekend. This isn’t lack of ambition, my ambition was to go to the wonderful University that I went to. My ambition was to create a lovely home, this is something that I’m doing now and I’m saving for our future home. My ambition really is to have children, whether I give birth or not-they will be little people I help to raise. My ambition is to have a house where other little ones are welcome. It is to have a friendly house with enough money to pay bills, food in the fridge and a warm environment. I couldn’t care less about what I have to do to get the basics-I am more than happy being pleased by gardens, and birds and walks. I delight in cooking for my family. I want people who visit to feel calm, I am so proud if someone snoozes after a big dinner at our home, this is what gives me joy!

Now, I’m just off to post this very important letter…*ah, stepping out into sunshine*