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Sunday, 14 November 2010


Ever get days where you just feel heavy? Heavy in the heart and the head? Heaviness that pulls down your whole body? Your whole being? Everything seems too much, even If it’s only a very small task? I've got that right now…and for no apparent reason it’s bringing me down.

I am lucky, I do have a wonderful life, and really (and sadly) there is a small reason for me to be down….but I just can’t shake it. I know its not the worst feeling in the world, and that other people have much greater problems, but its something deep inside me and quite frankly its how I feel, no matter how melancholic or self indulgent it is.

I've been heading back and forth to the Dr for a little while now to get some bloods and the increasingly grouchy receptionists don’t make the trip there any better.

What do you need that for? Another appointment?

You know the kind of person….although I sincerely hope you don’t.

It’s hard to throw yourself into Christmas excitement and all of the lovely things in life when these people are around making a menace of any happy feeling!

I am currently up to my eyeballs in appointments for one thing or another, so I maybe do need time to walk, venture, create or do nothing. I need time to think and to breathe fresh air. Whenever I have a problem I need to walk…need to get out of the house and see everything there is that is bigger than me. Things that just are. The sea and the cliffs ‘just are’, the flowers and the trees ‘just are’. I need to be with those things to heal and feel myself again.

This post wasn’t about anything at all…mostly me thinking out loud….but sometimes those are the posts I like reading. Today it’s the post I needed to make.


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